Studies say that 50% of people diagnosed with heart failure die within 5 years. This August, it will be 4 years since i have been diagnosed. The depression, stress and loneliness within my life and the fact i am getting very little exercise without still not having my new leg, i am confident i will be part of the 50%.
i have accepted my fate and i know there are still things i need to complete before such a time. Sleep almost seems like a waste of precious time. My efforts to spread a message of inspiration and hope came at a time when the world is cracking away with hate and negatives. But there are still things i want to share and hope will be heard. Maybe not today, but in the future they will be embraced.
None of us know exactly when our time within this earthly form will come to an end. And no one knows what happens after our time here. Few will be remembered weeks after they are gone. While a select handful will be remembered always. Time will alter their true contribution, but the idea of them and what they gave of themselves will always have an impact.
i have always said that i do not care if i am remembered. My goal in my remaining moments here is to ensure the power of SADDI is shared and celebrated. i want our love story, our beautiful bond to be one of inspiration. That is my mission now, to tell the story of how SADDI altered my life and heart. With hope that others will be able to find themselves and give so unselfishly as SADDI.
Though my heart is expected to fade, i truly hope the love that was given to me that fulfilled my heart and life, will never fade.
We each have a purpose in life. Some will know how they changed lives, others will not. As a messenger, i do not expect to know if my message reached anyone. i'm at peace with that. To know i have been loved and i learned to love, that is all i need to know.
So when i close my eyes for the final time, i will do so peacefully and gratefully, despite a life of many regrets. i was blessed to know the meaning of love.
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