It's March 12, 2016, after a mild winter, flowers are blooming, Japanese Cherry tree's are in full glory and even the scent of spring is in the air. And i'm missing it all because i still do not have my new leg after the amputation.
Spring is a time for new beginnings, but i am still stuck, seated in the doorway watching everything passing by. Even when it is cold, i sit there for the fresh air and escaping my reality of having been home bound basically since last July.
Devon leaves and a piece of me dies inside. i see pictures within this area, online, and i sink a little deeper into my depression.
The other night i had a dream where i was taking SADDI for a walk. When i awoke, of course SADDI wasn't here and i almost stood up, thinking i had two legs again, but i came back into reality.
i'm starting to believe i don't even want to get the leg again anyway since the amputation wound keeps opening the times i've had it before. Maybe i should just accept the fact that the rest of my life should be spent in a wheelchair.
The rubbery piece i need to wear before putting on the leg, i wear now to help with the swelling in my stump. But it often causes a rash that becomes really red and itchy. i'm not sure how i can wear it everyday if i did have the leg.
i'm just overwhelmed by my reality, but i do realize have it much worse
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