May 10, 1996

i'm filled with many emotions today. Missing my SADDI so much.  Flooded with so many memories.  

It was a warm May afternoon, in 1996,  when i went to a house offering few chow/lab puppies.  Our family friend, Shirley, had just lost her dog and wanted to get another one right away.  It had been eight years for me, i wasn't sure if i was ready, so i agree to go just to look.

When we arrived at the house, the Mommy chow was outside with a couple of puppies, who were already spoken for.  Out of 9 puppies, there were three female puppies still available.  The Mommy was barking like crazy.

When the humans opened the door to allow the puppies, two of them ran out into the dry dirt yard and went crazy chasing each other.  Crashing into tree's while the dry dirt made a low cloud for the puppies to get dirty.

Shirley attempted to grab one of the puppies, but the puppy was too busy chasing her sister.  Just then, as the screen door to the house was about to close, a black ball of fur walked out and made her way down the steps of the porch.  Her sisters were still running around like crazy puppies will do.  But this little puppy, who looked like a bear cub, ignored them and walked straight towards me.  Avoiding her sisters completely, she walked straight over and sat on my foot.  She put her head on my leg, looking up at me.

Shirley told me to pick her, i wasn't ready.  She said, pick her up just to see how it feels.  So i bent down, lifted her into my arms and she snuggled her head against my neck.

At that moment, i realized i was picked.

Shirley was finally able to capture the puppy she wanted.  The humans giving the puppies away refused to take any money, so we got into the car to leave. The Mommy was still barking, almost as if to say goodbye.  

SADDI and i sat in the backseat.  She laid peacefully against my leg  Shirley was in the front seat trying to hold onto her puppy, who was crawling all over her.

When we got home, i introduced SADDI to her new home.  Even before i knew her, i had already picked out her name.  Saisar SADDI Berrong.  (Saisar means 'to seize' in french.)

SADDI loved her big backyard.  She instantly started running around, chasing me and exploring.

Our neighbors had a dog, Jack, who SADDI went over to the fence to say hello to.  Jack lifted his leg and peed in her face.

So i took SADDI inside to give her a bath in the sink.  Despite being part lab, she hated it.  As i washed her, she stood up on her back legs, her front legs on my chest and she cried.  i tried to comfort her by talking to her, but as i sprayed water on her, she dug her tiny sharp nails into me.  i tried to dry her off, but she wanted nothing to do with the white towel.  i found another towel, darker color, and she was fine with that one.

We went back outside to play.  Our other neighbor was mowing her lawn and kept looking over to our yard.  Finally she turned off her mower and came over and looked over the fence.  She said she was worried that i was going crazy running around the yard, but then she saw SADDI.

As it started to get cold, we went back inside and i decided to take a shower.  i closed the door and got into the shower.  SADDI stood outside the bathroom door crying.  i stepped out of the shower, dripping wet and opened the door. SADDI didn't like that she couldn't see me, so i had to leave the door open while shower.  

After i dried off and got dressed, i chased her around the house with the white towel. i found some of my old socks she could play with.  There were 5 socks spread across the living room floor, as she played with one, i'd pretend i was playing with another one.  She didn't like that, so she'd come get the one i was playing with.  i'd move to a new sock and she would come for that one too.   Even as a 9 week old puppy, she was so strong as she tried to tug the sock away from me.

It was getting late, so time for bed.  i laid down, while SADDI stood at the front of the bed crying.  i told her to get up here, it was now her bed too.  She jumped up, gave me several kisses and laid on the pillow next to me.  It was like that for the next 13.5 years, SADDI always had to lay next to me.  Even when Devon entered our life, SADDI made sure she was between us, laying next to me.

That was our first day together 20 years ago.