May 30, 2016
My nurse came over for my twice weekly band-aid changes of my wounds.
Over the weekend there has been a smell and a lot of discharge on a wound from my prosthetic leg. The nurse cleaned it, as best as possible, and i wont be able to wear my leg for a couple of days. But the infection has a head start.
The wounds on the other leg, from when i fell down the stairs after an afternoon of trying to clean one of Devon's messes, is also infected. After months of care, i might have to have my left leg amputated as well.
At least my blood sugars are stable and my blood pressure, thanks to pills, is at a healthy level.
When Devon came home from work, as i was preparing his dinner and lunches for the next several days, he informed me he was going out with his friends and i knew he wouldn't be back tonight. Again.
Before he left, he did give me 30 seconds of unselfish concern, which is 20 seconds more than usual.
Everyday i get more examples that i don't matter in this world. As if i really needed more examples.
Physically and emotionally i'm done. My body is giving up on me and i'm giving into that truth.
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