i've really enjoyed Devon being gone the past several days, enjoying time with his friends. i haven't slept so well. Because i bunched up a blanket, next to where i sleep and placed SADDI's remains next to me. A small box that holds her ashes. It wasn't the same, but it still felt like she was cuddled next to me. And then there were times, i would see that dark colored blanket in the corner of my eye, and i swore it looked like SADDI laying there, curled in a ball. This might sound crazy to some, but i truly don't care. i miss my SADDI. i miss how she cuddled so closely against me that i was unable to move during the night. i miss that comforting safe feeling of having my best friend next to me. i miss our talks and how she would look at me as if she understood everything i was feeling. i miss us. So for a brief time, as silly and desperate some might think it is, i was feeling something i hadn't felt in almost 10 years.
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