S A D D I

i have told this story before,but it has so much meaning to my heart and our very special bond, i feel the need to share it again.

The day before we were expected to move, my doctor told me my toe was seriously infected and i needed to have it amputated.  She wanted to put me in the hospital at that moment.  But i explained i needed to move all weekend, so she gave my intense antibiotics, but insisted i be in the hospital Monday morning.

i got moved (with no help from friends) and Sunday night, just spent it with SADDI, explaining that i had to go for a few days.  i was devastated.  i moved her out of our home for several years, into an unknown home.  But at least this one had windows where SADDI could look out and see people and other doggies.

A now former friend agreed to come over to walk and feed SADDI.  During her evening visits, she would call me and let me talk to SADDI.  She even brought SADDI to the hospital to visit me.

All day i looked forward to this.  i requested a wheelchair and informed the nursing staff that i needed to leave my room to go outside to be with SADDI.  Things didn't work out as hoped.  The wheelchair never arrived and when it finally did, it was too small for me.  They attached my IV so i could go outside.  Once in the lobby of the hospital, the loud alarm to my IV went off.  i was only feet away from seeing my SADDI and i wasn't about to turn around.  An off duty nurse was passing by, she said it'd be okay if we turned off the IV for a short period. 

As i approached the hospital entrance, i saw SADDI standing there, he tail wagging wildly.  She jumped up onto my lap and gave me kisses.  We all walked over to a quieter space and while my "friends" chatted, SADDI and i just held one another.  Our heads rubbing against each other as i rubbed my hands all over her body.

Our visit was way too short.  From my wheelchair, i walked SADDI back to the main entrance of the hospital.  More kisses and hugs as i explained to SADDI that i would be home soon.  i knew she didn't understand, nor did i.  As i was being wheeled back into the hospital, i began to cry as SADDI barked loudly.  i so wanted to turn back around, but i knew i could never truly say goodbye, so i asked that they keep wheeling me back to my room.

All night, i held my hands against my nose to smell SADDI's scent and i cried myself to sleep.  My guilt was overwhelming as i worried what SADDI was feeling, all alone in our new home.

A couple of days later i did return home.  For a week, i stayed home to recover and SADDI never let me out of her sight.  She sat against me on the sofa, followed me to the bathroom and stood in the kitchen, watching me as i fixed our meals.

The bond SADDI and i have for one another is still strongly felt, nearly 10 years since she was taken from me.