S A D D I

i have often talked about being a survivor of an abusive relationship.  It's one of many regrets in my pathetic life, that i stayed in that relationship for 4 years.  Making it worse, what SADDI went through.  Not only did this piece of sh!t kick SADDI, but when he was attacking me physically and emotionally, SADDI became so scared that she would hide in a corner of the kitchen or outside.  i remember one time, after another horrible experience from this piece of trash, i went just outside the gate and sat on the steps to cry.  He wasn't done with his verbal abuse, so he came out to give me more.  As soon as he opened the gate, SADDI escaped quickly and started running down the street towards a very busy intersection.  i called out for her, knowing if i ran after her, she would just run faster.  i fell to my knees, begging SADDI to stop and come back.  i saw the cars, traveling very fast through the intersection and could actually feel my heart pounding.  SADDI reached the end of the block, i was calling out to her, she turned, looked at me and with a big smile started to run back to me.  When she reached me, i grabbed her, picking her up in my arms and holding her tight.  The abuser said nothing and i stupidly allowed him to stay, believing our love was stronger and could cure him of his evils.  i was wrong.  When i finally found the courage to kick him out of our house, where he lived without lifting a finger to pay rent/bills/food or clean ... SADDI was the one who helped me through it.  SADDI was/is my purpose.  Instead of staying home feeling sorry for myself, SADDI and i began taking longer walks a couple of times a day.  Those walks allowed me to clear my mind, lose weight and give SADDI the extra attention she deserved and enjoyed.