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i know it doesn't mean anything to anyone, but since just before the first of the year and each day since i have been battling my depression, but more intensely.   i break down so easily, but mostly when i think of my SADDI.   i should have treated her far better and spent much more time with her.  i think of all the wasted time and pathetic humans i gave that time to ... and where are any of them today?   i miss my SADDI so much.   i see humans with their doggies and i am overwhelmed with jealousy.   As my eyes begin to fill with tears, i can still see SADDI looking at me with so much love.  i question today why i deserved such devotion.