T I M E
... "Over these many years, my voice has softened, my heart has weakened, my body makes interesting new noises, my paced has slowed, my beliefs have strengthen, love has evolved, true friendships have faded, blood family is still distant, what is left of my hair has changed colors. i still look back with the weight of numerous regrets. i look forward with extreme caution. i live today, barely, with a passion and desire to share the beauty i find in life in an attempt to inspire others to celebrate life and to seize EVERY moment. Whether by my own attempts or the poor choices i have made in my life, i never believed i would reach 52 years upon this earth, recently my own doctors weren't very confident i would either. But i am here today, no guarantee's about tomorrow, but at this moment, i desire to live, share, celebrate, taste, feel, experience and be." ~~~ ric berrong, June 20, 2014
...The Beginning of the End
At one time i actually cared
Now i really don't
The life before me is coming to an end
As the life behind me never truly began
To die with regrets is all i am
For life was only lived within my dreams
Too afraid to be me
Too alone to be free
Now it is too late to start again
To even start something new
Now it is too late to live
Nothing left to do but begin to die
June 13,2014
June 13,2014
Finding Peace
"Too often life can be unfair and uncertain, the people in it cruel and disrespectful. To find my peace and honor my truths, i pick up my camera and get lost in the beauty that life has to share with each and every one of us. i may look at life differently than others, but the reality is we are all able to be witness to the glorious artwork of Mother Nature. Saturday was such a day for me. i was feeling alone and struggling because of my health. My pace slowed, my balance wobbly and my chest tight with lightening bolt feelings of intense pain, but i knew i had to experience these dwindling moments of life. Capturing the celebration of life in hopes of sharing and inspiring. How blessed and insufficient i felt surrounded by burst of colors, as if hand painted by an experienced artist, of flowers and plants. i was able to forget my own limits and focus on what truly mattered ... this fragile gift of life. When we allow ourselves to remember that life is truly a very special gift, and we cherish it with respect, what matters is that we live it, no matter what else is happening within or around us. i know that at any moment this gift will be taken from me, i can only hope as i enter a new journey, where i am reunited with my SADDI, that those left behind, who took for granted my brief moments in life will have second thoughts about their own words and actions, not hurting anyone else, even themselves, in my memory. And maybe they will look back at the photo's i have been able to share and appreciate life just a little bit more. Look at life just a little differently. And give praise where it is truly deserved." ~~~ ric berrong
inspired
Watching a 2013 interview by Oprah Winfrey with Maya Angelou ... i have chills. This brilliant woman spoke so simply, but those simple words were shared with such strength and truth. ... ... ... Within my own journey through this life i have had 3 role models who guide and inspire me. For being a better human i give complete credit to my precious SADDI. Within our 13.5 years together, i changed and continue to do so. i truly owe SADDI my life, so i must make it a meaningful life to honor her. ... ... ... With my photography, i am inspired by the works of Georgia O'Keefe and how, with her paintings, she showed us a flower completely different than we had ever viewed it before. Mother Nature has blessed us with such amazing detailed artwork that deserves to be truly and fully witnessed. ... ... ... With my words, it has always been Maya Angelou who taught me to write with complete honesty. Some may think i over share, but what i have learned through writing and life experiences, what i share may not touch you, but it may someone else. Someone who is feeling alone, lost, places i have been so many times myself. Places no one should ever be. (i am gathering past and current writings for my long overdue book --- Thoughts, Feelings and Pain). ... ... ... i am not on this earth for selfish reasons. i have no need or reason to post selfies everyday. To write about every ill, pain or fear. Or praising myself for my good deeds. i don't need, desire or deserve praising from others or rewards. My thanks comes from believing i have shared and my sharing encourages others to do so without a selfish thought or agenda in doing so. Simply, so easily, we can learn today is not about me or you ... it is about each and every one of us.
thinking
... i'm seated on the front porch, drinking my Tang while listening to the rain falling upon the leaves and plants that fill our front yard. We're very blessed to live in a fairly quiet neighborhood, the only other sounds to be heard areof a passing car and in the far distance a soccer game at the high school. There is a slight chill, but it can be ignored by the fresh scent of the rain and the abundance of wild plants within our yard. The birds are helping themselves to the feast i have left out for them, the hummingbirds enjoying the sweet water while the squirrels hop along the damp grass in search of their own goodies. As usual, i am feeling very reflective, daydreaming of how i wish life could be instead of its reality. i pause to enjoy the diversity of colors within our yard, always impressed by the incredible artwork of Mother Nature. This is a moment, a memory, i will take with me and share with SADDI when i see her again. My mind foolishly and painfully allows me to visualize seeing SADDI sitting on the porch with me now. Knowing she would be happy and comfortable laying on a blanket near me, no where near the raindrops, with her attention focused on seeing the friendly squirrel who always climbs up the steps when i come out each morning with my first cup of hot coffee to fill my lungs with life. SADDI would like it here. But i return to my reality, knowing how life has given me yet another obstacle, though this one not to be won. All i can do now is cherish these precious quiet moments where there is no pressure placed on the struggles of my beating heart. Quietly plotting how i can leave a positive mark upon this world through my errors and journey. Today, i question if my sharing has any impact at all, upon anyone. But i cannot allow those thoughts to halt me from inspiring others in the tomorrow's i will be unable to see. Only now is all i have and with that i must, with any ounce of energy left within me, ensure that i am doing as i encourage others to do ... seize EVERY moment.
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