S A D D I

Last night, before going to bed, i kissed the container holding SADDI's ashes (as i do every night) and asked her to please visit me in my dreams. i really needed to see us.

SADDI did not fail me. i saw us cuddled together, SADDI's body snuggled against my body as she used my arm as a pill-low. i dreamed of us walking down First avenue under the large autumn trees, the leaves dancing down to the ground.

Watching SADDI's curled tail and bushy butt enjoying the walk, with her usual confident hop when she walked.

Of course i woke up with tears in my eyes. But thank you for visiting me in my dreams SADDI.

P L A T O

B R E A K F A S T

Strength

S A D D I

The most beautiful thing i have ever seen ... and i have witnessed glorious sunrises, passionate sunsets, blooming gardens, the changing of the seasons, birth, unselfish kindness, autumn moons ... no, they most beautiful i have ever seen in my entire life was the smile from my SADDI

 

 

Squirrel Waiting To Go Upstairs

P ! N K

S A D D I

SADDI never liked other doggies. She'd always try to act tough, a deep bark.

We took many late night walks. One night we were heading to the local college, passing by some apartments, SADDI saw a dogging in the distance. She started getting upset, but i recognized the dog from my daytime walks through the city. A guide dog. i told SADDI to be nice because that was a working doggie. i swear, every time we saw that doggie again, SADDI never growled or barked. She'd look over at the doggie, out for a late night bathroom break, and she just kept walking. Another example of what SADDI taught me, respect for others.

 

 

Lunch Time

T R U T H

SAVE the BEES

L O V E D

SQUIRRELS

L O V E

National Dog Day

Geese - Gosling

J U D G I N G

Hummingbird

David Brinkley

F U T U R E

Hummingbird

C H A N G E

S A D D I

SADDI and i use to borrow the company van and do weekend day trips. One of our favorite places to go was Sauvies Island, a small farming area just outside of Portland.  SADDI would always sit in the middle of the backseat, where i could always see her in the rear view mirror.  Sometimes she'd look at me, but usually she was searching for horsey's.  Whenever we'd come up along side on field was horses, i'd pull over off the narrow road so she could see them better.  We would be just a couple of feet from them, but SADDI never barked.  She was just in awe of them.  It wasn't until we pulled away that she'd start to whine and bark.  But it didn't take long until we came up to another field of these glorious creatures.

One area, where we would get out to walk, a large open field that was always great for bird watching and spotting eagles.  We walked over to a fence, on the other side were what seemed like hundreds of cows.  SADDI always knew the difference, so she wasn't as excited.  But i remember the cows being excited to see my little black ball of fur.  Dozens of them walked up to the fence and tried to touch noses with SADDI.  One cow actually stuck out it's tongue and touched SADDI nose.  SADDI didn't like that at all, so she started walking back to the van.

On the way back, about 10 feet from us, in the high grass, a black snake stood up and moved down the hill away from us.  SADDI must have known snakes weren't to be messed with because her pace back to the van increased. 

She jumped into the van, grabbed some water and waited for me to begin driving again so she could find more horses.  And i got to enjoy seeing her smile.

Eclipse 2017

Seattle Eclipse 2017

Maya Angelou

R A C C O O N

Dick Gregory

S Q U I R R E L

Raccoon Family

Achievers

Elie Wiesel

Alki Heron

S A D D I

When i went through a very difficult emotional time, SADDI was always there to remind me what truly mattered. After a long stressful day at work, i looked forward to a long walk with SADDI through downtown. SADDI was so happy to guide me, she decided the direction. If i wanted to go elsewhere, SADDI would stand there, looking at me. The look on her face was almost like saying how funny i was thinking i could decide. When we'd stop to sit for awhile, SADDI sat closely to me, leaning her body against mine. My arm around her rubbing her chest. That was fine, but no kisses in public. If i dared tried, she'd pull her head away in such an adorable way. These days, as i can barely walk and i deal with my emotions alone, i close my eyes and think of our many long walks. Remembering how everything was going to be fine when i looked at SADDI's smile.

let LOVE thrive

Breakfast with the Raccoons

Abraham Lincoln

S A D D I

i remember laying on the bed with SADDI talking with her. i always felt like SADDI listened and understood. She knew my pain and fears. SADDI would rest her paw on my hand as i talked to her or lift her paw and put it on my head. She said so much by these simple gestures. i truly miss those moments of comfort. Though she can't give me those comforting touches today, i still talk to SADDI when i am scared, alone or questioning life. Looking at her pictures, into her beautiful eyes, i truly feel things will get better. i remember what it was like having that unlimited support, acceptance and love.

America is Already Great

John F. Kennedy

Save the Bees

B E L I E V E

George Bernard Shaw

Positive Energy

Playful Squirrels

Decisions

F R I E N D S

Eagle along Alki

Ricky Gervais

Final Thoughts

Summer on Alki

a promise to SADDI

Waking up the day after SADDI died, it felt as if all of life had ended. Both Devon and i needed space, he went to our old neighborhood to walk in the park we shared with SADDI so many times. i went to the airport to write. When i arrived downtown to catch the train to the airport, i watched people passing me and i wanted to stop every one of them and tell them the amazing being who was taken away from me hours earlier. i wanted to stop people and share with them the story of SADDI and i, the bond that we share and how empty i feel inside without her. People laughing and talking, but i wanted them to stop and know life is less without SADDI here. But i realized, life goes on. Even though the meaning of my life, the one who gave my life meaning was gone, i could see it wasn't so for everyone. i sat in the airport for a few hours writing the story of SADDI and i, tears running down my face, but i needed to capture the emotions i was going through. i couldn't hold in what i was feeling and i didn't care who saw me. 8 years later, as i talk about SADDI, i get emotional. i talk to SADDI when i am scared or as i am doing my work out along Alki. And i don't care if someone see's my emotions. While i sat at the airport, i thought a lot about how am i going to go on without SADDI. i realized that i had to devote the remaining moments of my life to honoring her and everything she taught me. In my head, the SAISAR unlimited foundation was formed. Never do i seek attention or praise for myself, it's always directed to SADDI, because without her guidance, i wouldn't be the human i am today. Unlike Devon, i have no gifts or talents to share with the world, i have a promise to SADDI to share positive energy and unselfish kindness to the world.

F R I E N D S H I P

S A D D I

8 years ago today, though the pain is still so strong it feels like yesterday, i kissed my SADDI goodbye.  Cancer had stolen the best friend i have ever known.  As the nurse was about to give her the shot that would take her to an eternal sleep, SADDI lifted her paw and placed it in my hand.  i kissed her ear and whispered that i love her so much and thanked her for picking me 13.5 years earlier, and then she was gone.  In these 8 years, an hour never passes without a thought or memory of Saisar SADDI Berrong.  A day never passes that i catch myself crying, but still being able to smile knowing that i was so loved.  We had a simple life together, but filled with so many cherish memories that i embrace within my heart.  SADDI taught me more about love, devotion and friendship than any human ever has.  Until i take my final breath, my life is devoted to SADDI's memory and everything she taught me.  The SAISAR unlimited foundation is devoted to SADDI, providing treats, water, blankets to doggies living on the streets with their humans and sharing positive messages with humans. SADDI taught me to be a better human and to appreciate the simple glorious things within life.  Though my heart is shattered into a billion pieces, it's still full of love, devotion and respect for SADDI.

Philosophy

S A D D I

 In the small apartment SADDI and i lived in for 9 (too long) years, our yard was a short cement walkway to the gate. SADDI would lay on the cool cement during the summer months, but when i went outside the gate to get the mail or work in the tiny yard area, SADDI would always stick her nose under the gate. She couldn't see me, but i think she wanted to ensure i saw her. And even if i was gone for just a couple of seconds, SADDI always greeted me back as if i had been gone for ages. Barking and sneezing. She then waited for me to chase her into the house.

Sometimes i had some fun by starting to chase her into the house, once she got inside and made her way into the bedroom, i would stop and closer the door. With me on the outside. i could see SADDI, from the edge of the window, coming out of the bedroom looking for me. Though i couldn't stand it too long, i had to surprise her by opening the door, once seeing me, SADDI had that big beautiful smile waiting for me and we'd continue our chase.

i truly miss those silly times and the wonderful smile that always made me feel safe and loved.

G A N D H I

Raccoon Nap

G R A T I T U D E

Dinner for Squirrels

S P A R K L E

Alki Summer Exercise

Jack Kerouac

The Gift

Silly Squirrel

TEACHER