a return to Alki

The past few months, i have not had the energy to do basic things that i had always done without thought. i stored away my best friend, my camera, not knowing if i would ever pick it up again. Numerous doctor appointments, dieting, limited exercising and really trying to stay away from a pity party. Slowly i watched my health take a positive turn, though there is still much to be concerned about. i may not see the light at the end of the tunnel, at least i am still looking for it.

So on this sunny but chilly October first, i dusted off my camera and headed to Alki beach, where i hadn't been all summer. It was a struggle as i barely was able to do less than half of the two and a half mile loop i had done regularly. But i could breath, enjoying the salt water air.

i have no clue what will come with tomorrow, but for now, i have today. And i will do what i can to add a few more tomorrow's. So i am returning to my self imposed isolation to concentrate on bettering myself ... physically, mentally and especially emotionally.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3:15am Feeding

Someone is aware of my lack of sleep schedule.  No matter what time i go to bed, i always wake up before 3am and can't go back to sleep.  This morning, when i looked out into the dark backyard, i saw something strange against the back sliding glass door.  It wasn't moving and wasn't a reflection of the indoor light.  No, it was one of our spoiled raccoon friends leaning up against the door waiting for treats.   Five handfuls of popcorn later, i guess she had her fill, because she strolled into the night to her resting place.  i only gave her a handful at a time and each time she finished, she would stand on her back legs looking into the house, waiting for me.  It's bad enough with just one raccoon, but we're feeding two families who stop by nightly.  But they're so cute, how can you say no.

B E S T

S E E K E R

Woodpecker Friend

Change the World

Champion

S A D D I

Remembering our autumn walks.  We were lucky to live on a long street with many tall trees that always had leaves dancing to the ground.  SADDI enjoyed hearing the leaves crunching under her feet or having me kick a pile of leaves at her so she could playfully try to catch them.  The cooler autumn days seemed to be SADDI's favorite.  Especially if she was wearing one of her special shirts during our walks.  So we took many long walks during the autumn season ... unless it was raining.

Raccoon and Possum Friend

After our delicious lunch at  Crab Pot yesterday, we brought home some leftovers for our nightly visitors. Potatoes, small corn on the cob and my bread bowl from the calm chowder. It was a very popular treat for our raccoon and possum friends. So much so, they put away their differences and dined together. Very little nastiness. Let’s see how long that last.

W A L L S

Strong Women

Greta Thunberg ~ Dr. Jane Goodall ~ Janelle Monae

 

Strong women lift others,

not push them down

 

Y O U

Enlightenment

A U T U M N

S A D D I

The cruelty of time, stealing away, far too soon, those who have the greatest positive impact upon our lives. Those who are our best teachers for how one should be ... to others and ourselves.  While ugly people, like myself, are left to stay in a world that is rarely kind or compassionate.  i was briefly blessed (13.5) with someone who taught and guided me to where i needed to be.  And daily, i was still learning.  It wasn't until midway in our journey that i realized the impact SADDI was making in my life and heart.  But when SADDI was taken from me, not only did my heart shatter, but so did my hope for the future.  i've allowed the negatives of the world to influence me.  In doing so, i was betraying everything SADDI gave to me.  So my only option was to distance myself from what some consider "reality" and live in my truths.  i'll find myself lonely, but it's better than find myself living a lie, just to please others.   Time if cruel, but i just remember that one day SADDI and i will be reunited and time will be endless.

Raccoon Friends

C H A N G E

E V O L V E

J O Y

L I F E

S A D D I

i owe SADDI my life.

My sanity.

My purpose.

My hopes. 

My dreams.

SADDI gave and shared so much with me

and did so completely unselfishly.

B E C O M E

COMMITMENT

R E A L I T Y

B E A U T I F U L

S A D D I

i daydream a lot, especially these days.  One of my most vivid daydreams is when i am sitting in my wheelchair, looking out into the back yard, watching the silly squirrels.  Without closing my eyes, i can see SADDI sitting on the sofa, in front of me, also watching the squirrels.  Turning occasionally to smile at me.  That amazing smile.  If SADDI were still with us, i know she would be spending a good deal of her day, seated on the sofa, just looking outside.  But in someway, i still feel her with me, enjoying the view of the playing squirrels.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS

Mother Nature

Teddy Roosevelt

Theodore (Teddy) Roosevelt Jr

 

26th President of the United States

October 27, 1858 – January 6, 1919

National Day of Service

9/11 should become a National Day of Service.  Where people are encouraged to do for others, to honor the sacrifices of those we lost on September 11, 2001.   Everyone has (or should have) a passion cause and they should be given this day to devote to helping out and making a positive change.  Hopefully it will not be abused by people selfishly only doing for themselves.   We should organize neighborhood clean ups, putting together groups to help in food banks, visiting a children's or veterans hospital or elder homes to talk with strangers (who will likely become friends).  There are so many opportunities where we all can make a differences if we just try.  And not for our own praise, but for those who unwillingly gave their lives for the freedoms many of us take for granted.  So please, roll up your sleeves to give and share and be part of what truly makes us great.

Never Forget

Maya Angelou

I M P R E S S

Prayer

A W A K E

S A D D I

i really miss my cuddly cuddly lil girl