How do I describe my love for Saddi when such words do not exist. Since that very first day, on May 10, 1996, I have been in love with Saddi. I had known love before, but nothing like this. No other relationship within my life has meant more to be than being with Saddi. She has never betrayed me. She has never sought out others for happiness. She has never allowed me to go a day without a smile from her. To just say that I love Saddi is never enough for how I truly feel. But people will likely never understand this, because I am unable to fully express it. Those who have seen Saddi and I together, they know and they understand the bond that is shared between Saddi and I.
Even today, as Saddi struggles with health issues, she still ensures that I am allowed several smiles throughout the day. Though her energy is low, her level of love and devotion has never faded. As I sit in the living, I can hear her climb off the bed and her tails clicking on the hard wood floors as she comes in to check on me. Maybe she takes a look to see if anything new has been added to her food bowl, or just to check things outside, but she always makes a stop near me so I can touch her soft thick black fur before she returns to the comfort of the bed. And when the day has become too much for me, I'll go lay down on the bed, Saddi will get up once I am comfortable and lay her body closely against mine. Feeling so safe, I easily fall into a deep sleep as Saddi cuddles her body even more closely against mine. It doesn't matter if I am unable to move, feeling Saddi up against is so comfortable.
Recently, when I dealt with my own near fatal infection, I spent several days in bed, barely able to get up and then only for a few minutes. Though long hours of battling a fever, while still be unable to ever get warm, no matter how many blankets Devon had on top of me, Saddi didn't leave my side. Only when Devon took her leash out of the closet, did Saddi get up from the bed. But even before she exited the room, she always looked back at me. And as soon as they returned, the first stop Saddi made in the house was to come into the bedroom and check on me. When dinner was prepared, I had to tell Saddi it was okay to go eat before she would leave the bedroom. I stayed in bed, my entire body covered in blankets, exposing only my nose and eyes. Saddi would make the journey into the kitchen and take a few bits, but I heard walking back towards the bedroom. Her nose would enter my blankets to touch my nose, maybe a little kiss, before returning back to eat. She would do this several times until she had finished her meal and then she would jump back up onto the bed, usually with her back tightly up against mine. And soon we were both snoring.
Anytime I have to leave the house is always a heartbreaking experience, as Saddi always wants to be with me. I've tried to explain to her, as unfair as it is, there are some places that doggies just can't go. The look within her soft brown eyes seem to express 'then why do you go to these places?'. But always, before I leave the house, I give Saddi some loving and tell her I will be back as soon as possible. She stands in the hallway watching close the door and then I hear the fast clicking of her nails going across the floor to reach the dining room door, which has a window in it. Saddi watches me reach the gate, but before opening it I always wave and blow a kiss to her. Even after exiting the gate, I turn around again to see her standing there watching me. One more wave and then I have to leave or I would never be able to leave with those big eyes watching me. But as I make my way up the driveway, Saddi begins to cry out and my heart breaks into pieces. It takes everything I have not to run back home and just hold her. But then there is that wonderful thrill of returning home, Saddi still seated at the dining door. Upon opening the gate, she stands up and you can see that curled tail begin to wag. As I go to open the front door, I hear Saddi racing across the floor to greet me. Her body pushes against my legs as I brace myself from not falling over from the 40 pounds of doggie loving me. Depending on her mood, she will bark at me in attempt, and a good one, to make me feel guilty for leaving her. For a time, she will follow me around the house, shadowing my every move. But soon she will realize I am home for good and she will retreat to the comforts of the bed.
The lab within Saddi has always ensured that she is overly smart and extremely loyal. However, she is also part chow, which means she can be very stubborn and demanding. Several times, while relaxing and reading the newspaper, Saddi would stand up on the chair and push her nose against the paper. I would slowly lower it to find this adorable face looking at me with a plea for attention. To tease her, I would raise the paper again, only to have her nose once again pushing into the paper until I lowered it again. Most times I had to delay lowering the paper because I was trying not to laugh. Difficult not to laugh when the paper continues to be bumped with her nose.
The stories of how Saddi enriches my life are endless and I truly hope there are millions of more stories to share. Some may find it odd that I devote so much of my life and energy into sharing about Saddi, but the reality is, she is deserving of it. I haven't found many humans in life who can be even one percent as special as Saddi is. So I will share stories about Saddi in hopes of inspiring others to be better to themselves and others. Hopefully I will be able to finish my book 'the TRUTH prevails' before the end of the year and published in time to celebrate Saddi's 14h birthday on February 28, 2010.
I love you Saddi.
