This year, 16 months after my beautiful SADDI was taken from me, nothing much had changed. No feeling for the holiday, though i have tried. Cards sent out, few received. Purchased material gifts for Devon and asked only for a drawing of SADDI and i together. Instead, i received a sweater. Battling pneumonia, my sleep has been limited, so i awoke early Christmas day morning and waited the hours before starting a special breakfast for Devon. Upon waking up, instead of a hug or acknowledgement of the day, Devon went to straight to the computer to update his games and check his e-mails. Enough was enough is enough. After giving him breakfast, i had to be out of this cold old house and find a place for peace. But with no money, friends or family, i had no where to go but to sit in the lobby of the hospital across the street and try to do some writing. All i could really do was cry.
Just another day. Like every other day. No holiday. Just another day without my SADDI.
