SADDI's Love

In March of 2009, i came down with a serious infection. For a week, i stayed in bed, despite several blankets covering me, thanks to Devon, i was never able to get warm. Attempts to get out of bed were limited as i often felt so dizzy and weak i couldn't even hold my head up. SADDI stayed with me, close to me, the entire time. Devon Yan-Berrong would take SADDI out for walks, but as soon as she returned i could hear her rushing in to check on me. When it was dinner time, SADDI would go into the kitchen to eat, but after a few bites would come back into the bedroom and press her cold nose against mine. Usually i had the blanket covering my face, trying to stay warm, so SADDI would have to push away the blanket with her nose to find me. As soon as SADDI finished her dinner, she returned to the bedroom, jumping up onto the bed and laying her body tightly against mine staying with me until Devon took her out for another walk. After a week of never recovering, Devon took me to the hospital across the street where i stayed for a week. My first hospital room actually looked out towards our home and i begged for another room because i couldn't handle being in the hospital, so far, yet so close, to SADDI and not being with her. Devon visited me daily, but hospital rules didn't allow for me to go outside or for SADDI to come visit me. When i was released, i lied and said i had a ride home, which was truly just across the street. Devon was working at the gallery at the time and couldn't help to bring me home, so i walked home. It wasn't easy, as i was still very weak, but i needed to be home and be with SADDI. She was so happy to see me, as i was to see her. After a quick trip outside for her, we laid on the bed, cuddled together until Devon returned later in the evening. Actually, SADDI didn't even get out of bed when Devon returned, she waited for him to come into the bedroom and check on us.

Late August 2006

In late August of 2006, with one sentence, my doctor told me that i was a diabetic and i needed to have my big toe, on my left foot, amputated. The infection was so bad that my doctor was able to put a Q-tip into the hole on the bottom of my toe and touch the bone ... i couldn't feel anything. My doctor wanted me to check into the hospital at that very moment, but i couldn't since i was in the process of moving, thankfully just across the street. My doctor wasn't happy, but allowed me to wait a couple of days for the surgery.

As i said, i was just moving across the street, but the infection in the toe made it very difficult to walk. The weather was wonderful, so SADDI laid on the porch of our new home and watched me carry box after box. The night before i went into the hospital, i set up the bed so SADDI would be comfortable while i was gone. i made her a very special dinner and we cuddled all night. i was so scared and just held SADDI, telling her how much i love her.

The next day, we took a long walk to the park and we played in the tennis court a bit longer, i was trying to delay leaving as much as possible. We returned home and i left SADDI a bed full of treats, many kisses while trying to hold back my tears. i worried about the treats, as SADDI never ate the treats i left for her until i would return from work, but this time i wasn't going to return for 6 days.

My then friend, Helen, came over before and after work to take SADDI for walks, change her water, give her some food and spend sometime with SADDI. Helen would even call me at the hospital and put the phone out for SADDI to hear my voice. It broke my heart to be away from SADDI and i felt so guilty moving her into a new home and then leaving her alone.

Four days into my hospital stay, Helen, her husband Pat and another then friend, Linda, came to visit me at the hospital. And they brought SADDI. i looked forward to this all day. i talked about it all day with the nursing staff, ensuring i had a wheelchair available so i could go outside, since SADDI wasn't allowed inside the hospital. When the time arrived, they hooked up the machine feeding my medicine to me to the wheelchair and Linda took me downstairs. Inside the lobby, the alarm to the machine went off, a loud beeping noise, Linda wanted to take me back to my room to have it fixed, but i refused. i had to see SADDI. An off-duty nurse was passing by and turned off the machine, saying it should be fine for a short while. At the glass door, i could see Helen standing there with SADDI, who was looking everywhere else except at me being wheeled towards her. But the noise of the sliding door alerted SADDI and her tail began to wag with great excitement as she pulled Helen to get to me. SADDI jumped onto my lap, her beautiful smile greeting me. i was wheeled to a more private area, holding SADDI's leash as she walked ahead of me, looking back every few steps to check on me, smiling the entire time.

We found a quiet spot away from the main entrance, SADDI jumped up onto the bench next to me and put her face against mine. Helen, Pat and Linda talked, but i heard nothing as SADDI and i sat there holding one another. SADDI's face was pressed against my check as i rubbed her back and kissed her adorable ears. All i wanted was for this to never end, but too quickly it did. i was wheeled back to the main entrance, SADDI leading the way. Just before Linda took me back to my room, i leaned down to receive a few kisses from SADDI, as i gave her many and told her that i would be home in a couple of days. Of course, i told her how very much i love her. As Linda pushed me back into the hospital, SADDI began barking and crying, i begged Linda to go faster as tears fell from my eyes. i couldn't look back. That night, i laid in my hospital bed crying all night. Holding my hands to my face so i could smell SADDI's scent. The nursing staff didn't come into my room, knowing how devastated i was.

Two days later, i was released from the hospital. Helen picked me up, but before taking me home to SADDI, she took me to her mom's house. Her mom and put together a care package for me and as much as i appreciated it, all i truly needed was to be with SADDI. Finally i was taken home, the door opened and SADDI came out to greet me. We were left alone, in this new house, boxes stacked unpacked, but we were together. SADDI and her rici.

For the next week, i stayed home from work to recover. SADDI never left my side. If i went to the bathroom, SADDI was walking behind me. i couldn't close the door or else she would cry. As i fixed dinner, SADDI stood outside the kitchen, watching me. As we sat on the sofa, SADDI was cuddled tightly against me. Having my toe removed slowed my walk considerably and SADDI knew. Instead of her fast paced prance, SADDI slowed down, though still leading the way and always looking back at me, often waiting for me to catch up.

The bond SADDI and i share is so amazingly strong and beautiful. Even today, i still feel my baby girl smiling upon me as she awaits me to arrive at the Rainbow bridge so we can cuddle again.