Happy New Year
As we close the door of 2016 and prepare
for the unknown of 2017, i have a basic hope for all.
May there be fewer selfies and more unselfish acts of kindness.
May you realize the things important in life aren't things.
May you hear and speak many kind words daily.
May you be part of the inspiration and celebration of life.
May you realize how strong you truly are
and that anything you set your energy to succeeds.
May the negatives escape you and the positives embrace you.
May your eyes and heart always be open
to the simple beauty in life.
May truths thrive.
May love shine.
May hope bloom.
May peace guide you.
seize EVERY moment
S A D D I
When we moved downtown, SADDI and i would take walks every night (that it wasn't raining) to the college. We passed many apartment buildings, but because of the hour it was usually fairly quiet. One night, in the distance, SADDI saw another doggie and started to bark (she didn't like other dogs at all). But i had seen this dog during the daytime and knew it was a guide dog, so i hushed her and said that was a working doggie and we have to show our respect.
And SADDI stopped barking. In fact, in following nights that we saw this doggie, and even the few times during the day, SADDI never barked at this doggie again. But other doggies, who were spoiled and giving their humans a walk, SADDI always barked at.
Those silly walks with SADDI, one of a zillion things i miss so very much.
D E V O N
Ten years ago, i picked up Devon Yan from the Portland airport. We shared our first kiss in the parking garage after i helped him into the front seat. We drove back to our home, taking a mini tour of Portland along the way. Our life was just beginning, Devon expressed some concerned about SADDI ... what if she didn't like him. When we finally reached the house and i opened the door, SADDI greeted Devon as if she has known him forever. Watching them falling in love with one another was such an amazing thing to witness. After Devon arrived, i rarely got any kisses again ... she liked the Chinese taste more than the American. Devon had just come off an 18 hour flight and just wanted to relax a little before we headed out again to explore this new city to him. We laid on the bed, cuddled together, SADDI jumped up on the bed, looking at us and started pawing at Devon's arm, until he moved just a little and then she jumped between us. And that was the way it always was, SADDI sleeping in the middle.
It's so hard to believe that was 10 years ago.
December 29, 2016
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY DEVON
10 years ago today, after an 18 hour flight from China, Devon stepped off the plane in Portland Oregon to begin a new life. A life without limits or judgments. Free to create. Free to live. Free to love.
Devon has never tried to follow the trends or be someone he is not. After years of being told he couldn't follow his dreams, he has spent the past 10 years following, creating, achieving and dreaming even more.
As his husband and the person who never placed limits on him, encouraging him to believe in himself when he struggles and always talks with great pride and emotions, about him, i know amazing things still await Devon and his many unlimited talents.
Our first family photo
Merry christmas SADDI
memories of christmas past
Since Devon has decided to go over to his friends today, i'll be home thinking about my beautiful SADDI, who i truly miss so very much.
2001, our first christmas alone, it was a cold dry day, so we went for a long walk to our post office box, about 3 miles each way, through downtown Portland. SADDI was happy, exploring the quiet city, and i was in no hurry to take that away from her. At the half way point, in the heart of downtown Portland (Pioneer Square), there was a large box truck sitting in the middle of the square. SADDI and i took a little break, sitting on the cold bricks, SADDI leaning snugly against me, as she always did. We watched as volunteers handed out warming clothing to a line of homeless people.
i sat there, my arm around my great love, my best friend, no longer thinking about how alone i was, without a relationship or family or any real friends. Everything i truly needed was sitting next to me.
SADDI and i got up and finished our walk. The entire time, SADDI walking with that beautiful smile that always took away my tears. When we returned to our cold small home, we took a long nap, cuddled together under a couple of warm blankets. SADDI so closely next to me that i couldn't move and using my arm as a pill-low. And i remember how happy i was.
Even though i am spending another christmas alone, the greatest gift i ever received was the love and friendship given to me by such a special little girl and all the memories i cling to today..
Thank you SADDI.
(The picture attached to this post was a failed attempt at making a holiday card. SADDI was too bored to sit patiently, so she just laid down and glared at me.)
2016 Holiday Message
My hope for 2017 and beyond for you
Celebrate life
seize EVERY moment
Cherish the simple joys in life
Sharing unselfishly
Create hope
Inspire truth
Experience something beyond your comfort zone
Be more thankful
Be more grateful
Be part of the reason someone smiles
Share a kind word with others and to yourself daily
Never take for granted anything or anyone
Tomorrow is our only hope
Ensure to make tomorrow more amazing and beautiful than today
S A D D I
Remembering SADDI on this very early
Christmas eve morning
This was our last Christmas together
S A D D I
Thinking about my SADDI
putting up with all my silliness,
but still loving me so very much
S A D D I
The stubborn chow in SADDI refused to look at me while i tried to take a picture. i did everything i could think of, but she refused. She knew the hat was silly because i couldn't stop laughing after putting it on her. i miss my adorable lil brat so much.
After i took the one picture she allowed, she shock her head to get the hat off of her, walked away to explore and we were friends again ... until i tried to put the hat back on her.
She loved her scarf though.
Squirrel Friend
i miss my special lil friend
i haven't seen her in a couple of weeks.
Because of the cold West Seattle days,
i don't sit at the front door as often.
The other squirrelsare friendly,
but still uncertain of me,
but we're slowly building our trust
S A D D I
i've been awakened again, very early in the morning, with dreams of SADDI. i can't go back to sleep, so i stay awake and live in my reality. The reality that i miss her so much. i have never known a friend as loyal as SADDI nor one who could always make me smile and forget about the sadness inside of me. SADDI and i spent many years alone together, but there were wonderful long walks, endless cuddling and SADDI looked at me as if she truly understood when i talked to her. And the times i whined too much, she would lift her paw and place it onto of my head. As if to remind me, that she was there and i wasn't as alone as i felt then. But as i am today.
i love you so very much SADDI
Holiday Giving
Holiday Gifts
please give a little thought to what you give
maybe don't give a diabetic,
with an amputation who has been home bound for months, sweets.
Just take a moment and consider before you give.
S A D D I
It started to snow this morning in Seattle. As i sat in my wheelchair on the front porch, enjoying the beauty, i started to cry. i remembered how much SADDI loved the snow. She turn into a completely different doggie whenever it snowed, even if it was just a light dusting. In her last year of life, we had a couple of serious snow storms and SADDI loved every minute of it.
Because of the wind, we had 2 foot snow drifts around the house. SADDI would go outside to go to the bedroom and she would slowly sink into the snow as she peed.
Even though Devon and i were freezing, we stayed out as long as possible because we knew how happy SADDI was.
She tried to catch snowballs we'd throw at her. She's chase us. And it was so beautiful watching the pure white snow falling and collecting on her thick black fur.
i miss SADDI so much. She always knew how to make me smile when all i wanted to do was cry.
After some fun in the snow, SADDI would come home ready to be wrapped in her favorite blanket.
i love you so much SADDI
S A D D I
SADDI taught me to be a better human,
more appreciative and patience.
Well, patience wasn't something practiced,
especially when i wanted to do silly photo's.
i set up the picture,
woke her from her nap
and had her sitting up looking so adorable.
But she got bored, quickly.
And wasn't thrilled when i couldn't stop
laughing at how precious she looked.
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