25 Goslings
i visited my friends and their babies on South Lake Union. The families all stay together, even though their were five families of geese closely picnicking on the lawn in Seattle. Most families were three or five goslings, but the family i spent most of my time with had 25 goslings. 25. The parents were, as always, very protective, but comfortable with me seated so close taking pictures. (volume up)
Live Before You Die
It’s terrible to realize
that you don’t learn
how to live
until you’re ready to die
... and then it’s too late.
Edna Ferber
S A D D I
Remembering how gentle SADDI was. When we played tug-a-war with one of my old socks, SADDI, with all her strength, would pull me closer and closer towards her. i was able to put my face next to hers, even giving her a kiss, and it didn't distract her. Or if i gave her a bone, SADDI would happily chew on it while laying on the carpet. Without any worry, i was able to playful take it away from her and pretend to enjoy it myself. SADDI would just lay there looking at me. SADDI always smiled when i let her chase me through the yard and it seems her smile only grew when i turned it around and chased her. Grabbing her tail, SADDI would look back at me and i swear, if she could, she'd be laughing. When i finally caught her and rolled on the grass with her, it was as if SADDI was waiting for that ... even looking forward to it. There were times when SADDI tried to be tough, aggressive, but it was so against her character, all i could do was laugh at her. Whenever SADDI got upset, she'd start to sneeze. The look on her beautiful face, she wasn't pleased that i was laughing at her.
S A D D I
In most of our 13.5 years, SADDI and i were alone together. Days would pass and SADDI would be the only one i talked with. i remember one time, as i laid on the bed with SADDI, feeling sorry for myself. While i whined, SADDI lifted her paw and placed it on my head. i have never felt so loved in my entire life. And even today, nearly 10 years since she has been gone, SADDI is the only one i fully trust. i still talk to SADDI, though i live in a haunting silence, i know SADDI is the only one who will listen to me. Mainly, i just tell her how much i miss us and that i look forward to being reunited very soon.
The Greatest Loss Is ...
Death is not the greatest loss in life.
The greatest loss is
what dies inside us while we live.
Norman Cousins
S A D D I
With Devon gone on another vacation, the house is quiet. i've gone several days without speaking to another human and i am totally fine with that. But i do talk, out loud, to SADDI. Usually it's just reliving precious memories. Thanking her for loving me, even when i didn't deserve it. And telling SADDI about all the squirrels that come to visit everyday. If SADDI was here, i know she would be sitting on the sofa and watching the squirrels playing in the trees and snacking on the treats. And i can actually see SADDI turning to me, with that big beautiful smile before turning back to see the squirrels. SADDI would be so entertained with all the activity we get just inches from our backdoor. i will never forget the time we were walking through the park close to our former apartment when a squirrel quickly ran across the grass and jumped into a tree, upon seeing SADDI. SADDI pulled me over to the tree and stood on her back legs, looking up the tree. The squirrel was on a branch, about 10 feet up, talking down to SADDI. SADDI turned to me, smiling and tail wagging. Then the squirrel ran higher into the tree, out of SADDI's sights, so we continued our walk. But SADDI was still smiling. A smile i miss and need so much.
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