... 5am ...

As i lay me down to sleep, or at least as i attempt to sleep. Lately i am lucky if i am able to get a full three hours of sleep. But as i laid on the sofa, under the open window, the early morning chill in the air, along with the sweet smell of yesterdays freshly mowed lawn, my eyes closed but without hope of sleep. Like every other day lately, i try, i truly try to fall back to sleep. This morning, as i relax my thoughts, my eyes under the blanket of my eye lids, i suddenly see your face laying next to me. Like so many times, we are nose to nose. i refuse to open my eyes, because i know the reality. So i just lay there, wishing i could reach out and wrap my arm around you, or feel your paws pressed against my chest. Wishing i could hear you snoring as we share a pillow. Everything seems so real, even in this awakened dream. But nothing will ever be real again.