... SADDI, my love ...

The world, especially my world, is a better place because of you.

... SADDI is still with me ...

This morning, in the moments before i actually awoke, while sleeping on the sofa, i felt you against my back. There was a feeling of a weight against my back, as i have known so many times as you cuddled closely against me. But today, nearly 22 months since you have been gone, i still feel you close to me, SADDI.

... i love you SADDI ...

Fifteen years ago today, everything within me and my life changed forever. On a warm May 10 afternoon, i went to a house giving away chow/lab puppies. i was only thinking about getting a puppy at the time, but went with a family friend who was ready. The door opened and two puppies wildly ran out of the house and began chasing and playing with one another. The dry dirt ground began to rise as the two puppies ran all around us. But from the house, just as the screen door was about to close, a black ball of fur came out and walked down the steps and began crossing the yard, as her brother and sister continued running all around. This small black ball walked straight over to me, not distracted at all by anything around her, and then sat on my foot and put her head on my leg looking up at me. My friend suggested i pick her up, but i said i wasn't ready, i was just looking. But soon i bent down and picked her up, she rested her head against my neck and i realized the choice was not mine, she had picked me.

On the ride home, my friends puppy couldn't stay still and was crawling all over her. But 'SADDI' peacefully rested her body against me. When we returned home, i took SADDI into the large backyard that we had and she quickly began to explore. She then started to chase after me and i would chase her. My neighbor was mowing her lawn, but kept looking over at me. Finally she stopped and walked over to the fence to see what i was doing. She thought i had gone crazy, as she couldn't see SADDI yet.

Later, i knew i had to give SADDI a bath, so i put her in the kitchen sink and quickly found out that SADDI hated being in the water. She stood up on her back legs and dug her tiny, but very sharp, nails into my chest as she cried the entire time i washed her. i tried to dry her off, but she kept running away from me, for some reason she was scared of the white towel, but always welcomed being dried off by any other color towel.

i decided that i needed my own shower, but SADDI stood outside the closed door and howled a loud cry. Stepping out, soaking wet, i opened the door to see SADDI sitting there, her tiny tail wagging. i invited her to join me, but she only let out a small bark. So long as i left the door open, where she could see me through the shower curtain, she seemed okay.

After a long day of playing, it was time for bed. As i laid down, SADDI stood at the foot of the bed crying. i told her to come up, there is where we would be sleeping. With some effort, she jumped up onto the mattress sitting on the floor and took her place on the pillow next to me. (For the next 13.5 years, that was the way it always was, SADDI had to lay next to me. When Devon entered our life, SADDI would not have it for Devon and i to cuddle. She made that clear on Devon's first day by hitting him with her paw until he slightly moved away from me and she was able to jump in-between us.)

At the time, i wasn't working, so SADDI and i spent the next five days getting to know one another. She never let me out of her sights. But then i had to start my new graveyard shift job and had to leave SADDI alone for the first time. As i walked to the bus, two blocks away, i could still hear her crying. It broke my heart, i just wanted to run back to her. For 13.5 years, it never changed, we hated being apart from one another. And when i returned home, SADDI always let me know how upset she was, but it didn't take long before i was forgiven and given many kisses.

It's now 15 years since that very special day and 21 months since SADDI was taken from me. i celebrate this day but with heavy tears from my eyes and heart. i miss my little girl so very much and truly cannot wait until the day we are reunited again. SADDI was never just a dog or a pet, she is my best friend, the love of my life and now my inspiration to show others the kindness and compassion that was always given to me from SADDI.

Today, i am honored to devoted my energy to the SAISAR unlimited foundation. In SADDI's name, i give out treats, food, blankets and other supplies that i can afford (donations are welcomed) to doggies living on the streets with their humans and those doggies still living in shelters, awaiting their forever homes. For me, there is nothing more beautiful than the smile on a doggies face when they realize i have something special for them. It is SADDI's smile that always took away the stresses and pain from life. It is SADDI's love that gives me the strength to do what i do now. To honor and celebrate SADDI is my duty that i am so very proud to do.

Ric@BerrongGallery.com