i write this knowing it likely will never be read by anyone, as i believe no one comes to this page. But it's okay, i will still use this forum to express myself, through writings and photo's, and when i am gone it will live on.
Over the past few years i have struggled with health issues, mostly from my diabetes. i've lost all my toes and for the past couple of years i've been battling to save my leg. In two years i have been in the hospital 19 times with infection, pneumonia and congestive heart failure. The last time i was in the hospital for an infection in my foot, after a few days i checked myself out against doctors orders because the depression was too overwhelming. i've stopped taking my daily meds.
Since SADDI was taken from me 5 years ago my depression has been a heavy weight i carried daily. There have been good days, where i only cry a couple of times, but those days are rare. And since no one truly understands, i cry alone. i miss SADDI so much. All i want is to be with her again. All i need is to be with her again.
i don't know what happens after we die, all i can do is hope that i will be reunited with SADDI again. With that hope, i live each day waiting to die. There is nothing left for me on this earth and it is proven to me daily that i am just taking up space here. It'd be nice to think i will be missed when i die, but i am not even missed while i am alive.
No comments:
Post a Comment