i don't cry in front of anyone anymore
and i cry a lot
normally i go outside
breathe
and i talk to SADDI while crying
i don't want to burden others with my depression
and the reality is, no one would truly understand
SADDI can't comfort me as she always did
but even a simple thought of her makes me feel happy
makes me feel safe within myself again
i accept i have no right to happiness
SADDI didn't deserve her suffering
and i blame myself for it
so i accept my tears
i deserve my tears
to be honest, i feel guilty when feel happy
or even comfortable
i'll work for the comfort and happiness of others
and when i do that i feel SADDI smiling upon me
one day, soon i hope, i will be with SADDI again
until that day, i will cry alone
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