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r e f l e c t i o n

Reflecting on the past year and look beyond to the New Year. When i was told my congestive heart failure (CHF) would likely not allow me to see my 52nd birthday, i just gave up. Remaining hopeful and positive for others while slipping deeper into my over 30 year depression. But i did see my birthday (despite being sick with a cold) and i was even honored to marry the beautiful talented Devon Yan. But i know i still have not done enough and there is still so very much to do. In 2014, i had the great honor to meet some amazing inspiring beings (Greg Louganis, Diane Schuur, Namiko Layden, George and Brad Takei and Riley the canyon puppy), but i regret i was overwhelmed with delight in meeting Christine Deaver that i forgot to capture the moment with a picture. So many glorious moments from life escaped me, and you, because i just didn't have my camera ready or foolishly just didn't take out the brief moment to cherish such great wonders. i've tasted and sipped a variety of delicious menu's this past year, yet, i barely remember them because they are brief moments in life. i want/need more moments that matter, that have an everlasting feeling, something i can share even with those many miles away. i need to to toss off my blankets and embrace the chill of the season and share the reason. How many chances i will be allowed to have in 2015 is unknown, so i must do and encourage others to do as well ... ... ... seize EVERY moment. Life is a continuous learning adventure, we stop learning we stop living. Today i am just learning to walk and stand again. i cannot tell you how many times lately i have fallen, but the scars on my body are telling signs. Each step that i remain upright is like a walk on the moon for me. Who i was i am no longer and that is a difficult thing to get use to, but i must. i could reflect for days who i was, but i must accept who i am now for the days still ahead.

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