By now, everyone should know that SADDI is the love of my life. My best friend. We have such a powerful beautiful bond. Despite my entire family leaving my life, an abusive partner and many lonely days, SADDI was there to comfort and love me. Even moments before she died as i held her, kissing her ear. she reached her paw up to place it on my hand and then she was gone. Every now and then, i can still feel SADDI laying against me, as she always did, so closely. i so miss her using my arm as a pillow, allowing me to rub her belly and kiss her flickering ear. When no one else was around, which was often, i could lay in bed, next to SADDI and talk with her and she always seemed to be listening. When i was laid off from the job i truly enjoyed gong to each day, i was numb. When i came home, every fear was forgotten when i was greeted by SADDI's bark and her excitement to go for a simple walk. When Devon entered our life, SADDI knew instantly she had her complete family. It was love at first sight for both of them.
On New Years Eve, 2001, i was feeling alone and couldn't think of any reason to stay alive. My eyes filled with tears and a large knife in my hand, i was ready to exit this earth. But SADDI came out of the bedroom, looked at me with her head tilted, kissed my nose and then returned to the bedroom. i realized how foolish i was being. i didn't have my family. i didn't have the person who loved me but abused me. i wasn't alone or unloved. SADDI was there. The next day, beginning of a new year, we began taking long walks, night and day, just the two of us. When SADDI died in my arms on August 9, 2009, somehow i was strong. But come Thanksgiving of that year, the reality set in and i have cried everyday since. i don't know what happens when we die, but i hold onto the hope that SADDI will greet me with her wagging tail and excited barking. i miss her so very much but i am also comforted because our love for each other is so true and strong.
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