In my life, nearly 53 years, i have had only one true best friend ... my precious SADDI. I have never had luck with friendship, ever. Though i tried and i gave, it was never fully or truly returned. When we moved to Seattle, i thought a new beginning, new people ... but quickly i learned how fake and two-faced people are. Especially now in this social media era, no one seems to know how to be close anymore. Tonight i received yet another devastating blow to my confidence. Devon informed me he was going out Friday ... i waited ... yet again, no inclusion of me, his husband, to go with him. i truly wonder if his "friends" even know he has a husband.
It's time like this, feelings of loneliness like this, that i can't wait to die. But for the pain SADDI suffered in the last eight months of her life because i couldn't afford to help her, i know i am meant to continue to suffer. i'll suffer alone. i'll cry alone. i'll be alone.
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