i spent my birthday (06.20.15) alone so Devon could be with his Pride Asia friends, thinking he would come back after dinner with them to spend some of my birthday with me. he didn't. i told him i wasn't feeling well so i just came home instead of going out. i tried to respect his friendships, though most of the people aren't even true friends to him, forget about me. he didn't come back until 12:30am the next night. this isn't the first time recently he has done these questionable last minute over nights away from home, with barely any communication with me, leaving me with thoughts i tried not to think.. i can't take it anymore. he's now packing and leaving me. i slapped him, which i got slapped right back. (and if anyone else wants to lie about me, i did not abuse Jaye Sablan, who i wasted 4 years of my life, where i was physically and emotionally abused). i NEVER abused Devon (or Jaye), physically or emotionally. i always put Devon first, where i believed he should be. After years of being told he wasn't good enough, by his family, i tried to show him he truly is.
Devon told me that he never wanted to marry me. we're one week away from our first anniversary after nearly 9 years together. i was always honored to walk with him, to be seen with him. Now it seems he was ashamed of being with me.
i'm sorry, i really can't be taken for granted anymore. i don't deserve it. i'm not strong enough. i've loved Devon faithfully and though i am reminded all the time of my failures, i really wanted to share a forever with him.
Please don't ever forget about Saisar SADDI Berrong or the SAISAR unlimited foundation.
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