Well, since my 50th birthday, over three years ago, where i had a toe amputated (due to diabetes), i have been battling infections and pneumonia which has sent me to the hospital 23 times in these 3 years. On Thursday, July 23, i entered the hospital again with an infection in my foot. Not sure why, as i have basically been a couch potato for 5 weeks and my blood sugar numbers have been okay. On Friday, i had yet another surgery on my foot, to drain the infection. This time my doctor basically cut my foot in half to open up the area infected.
Though there have been no signs of the infection in my system, no fever or outrageously high blood sugar numbers. This will mean many more months of recovery.
Emotionally i am completely drained (my depression can't get any lower) and all this crap has affected what Devon and i have been able to do together.
My red and white blood cells have been so affected that i had to have two pints of blood put in me, as well as some heavy duty antibiotics.
i have been in this hospital so many times, the nurses and doctors remember me ... i'm surprised they haven't named a room after me. Most of these stays in the hospital have lasted over a week each, so i am so deeply in debt that i will be paying off my bills many years after i am dead.
After talking to my doctor, who i have been dealing with my foot since the beginning and i totally trust, he said the bone in my foot is dead and he will need to amputate even more of my foot, leaving me just the heel to walk on. Which can still get infected and possibly cost me my life. Or we could amputate the leg, just below the knee ... which i have been fighting against because i didn't want to feel like i am giving up.
After a lot of tears and thought, i've decided to go ahead and have my leg amputated just below the knee and in time wear a orthopedic leg. In doing this, i feel there is a little at the end of the tunnel, where with the continuing issues with my foot, i don't really see any hope anymore.
Maybe now Devon and i can begin to live the life that has escaped us for so long.
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