Just over nine months ago, i had my right leg amputated just below the knee due to an infection from the diabetes. It was not an easy choice, but the only choice. i was told that i should be walking within a month, but that didn't happen since the wound opened up again. i spent 20 days sharing a small room in an adult rehab ... where i only got about 4 hours sleep each night.
i've spent the remaining months at home, usually alone, waiting for the wound to heal. During this time, i have been given the leg two more times, but the wound opened yet again. Finally the nurse who came over to my house twice a week to change my bandages refused to okay me to get the leg again until the wound was completely healed.
i was scoot around the house in an office chair (without wheels) because i didn't feel confident using my walker, after falling a few times. My days would be spent sitting at the front door feeding the squirrels and waiting for the mail or watching crap TV all day.
During these nine months, i have had only one visitor and have not really heard from anyone. Devon has lived his life, many times not coming back for a few days. It's been very lonely and extremely difficult on my emotional state. Many times in these nine months i've thought about suicide.
The wound is now fully healed and tomorrow i start the process of learning how to walk again. i'm so nervous. i've got my hopes up so many times only to watch them be destroyed. But i want ... need ... to live again.
Hopefully tomorrow will be a new beginning.
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