May 14, 2016
Devon is away ... again. He'd rather spend time with his friends than be with me ... which deeply hurts since i have my leg now and i'm getting around a lot better. This isn't the first time, i'm sure it wont be the last.
i've asked him for months to clean the garage (actually since October of last year). So i spent much of my first good day cleaning the garage and getting rid of stuff that i have for some reason clung to. Always thinking life would change for the better, but it never has.
It was a much cooler day than yesterday, but i found myself sweating a lot. And it felt good. Months of basically being stationary inside the house, i feel so accomplished in what i was able to do. i wanted to do more, but i have to be so careful not to ruin this forward process i'm in.
Honestly, just a few weeks ago, i never thought i would feel like this. One of the problems though, i'll come into the house, take off the leg so i can relax my stump and then i forget for a moment my situation and start to get up without putting the leg back on. Thankfully i catch myself before i fall on my face.
As for the future, i'm uncertain if it includes Devon. i'm so tired of being used and taken advantage of. He may start working soon, but it wont help us at all because he has to send it all to his parents. So the rent, the bills, the groceries and keeping the house clean is all up to me ... still. When i start working again (hopefully soon), everything will still be expected of me. It's overwhelming ... but is it worth it.
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