After a couple of weeks of learning how to walk again, the new leg rubbed against my skin (despite the rubber sleeve i wear over my leg) and created a scar. It was small, just skin that had rubbed off the top, but because the sleeve causes my leg to sweat, the little scar has become infected. The smell was nasty, but now i am unable to wear my leg, or the sleeve (that helps shirk my stump) for a couple of weeks.
My left leg, still healing from the wounds when i fell down the stairs, after an afternoon of trying to clean up Devon's mess, has an infected wound as well. Not as bad, but still taking longer to heal.
The weather is extremely hot this weekend, Devon wanted to go to Alki beach, i just want to be out of the house. Or at least wear shorts. But i can't due to the wounds on both legs.
These latest infections have taken so much out of me ... emotionally. My depression has been so overwhelming that all i did was sleep ... in hopes i never woke up. In a 24 hour day, i was lucky to stay awake for 6 hours. Devon was at work or staying with his friends, instead of being home. But at least i fulfilled my duty of fixing him breakfast, lunch and while while keeping the house clean.
This whole ordeal started in 2006 when i had a toe amputated. These past four years, with my right leg, have been one thing after another. i truly think i have reached my breaking point. i just can't handle this anymore ... especially since i'm having to do it alone.
Even as i type this, my energy is weak and almost forced. That's what it feels like to stay alive ... forced.
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