As i struggle with the deaths of two special fur friends this week, and memories of others (extremely special to me) who have crossed over, my mind has been in an endless loop of thoughts, emotions and memories. So much so, it is affecting my sleep (i've been up at 2:30am for the past couple of days). i'm still dealing with my own health and numerous setbacks and the guilt i feel being unable to find a job, to provide for my husband and the mountain of medical debt just waiting to tumble down upon me.
Desperately i try to remain positive, for myself and others around me, but everyday it becomes more difficult. TV once a distraction, has only been an added stress. When i escape into YouTube video's from the past, i am remained of the life i should have lived. Instead of the fears i allowed to blanket me.
At this very difficult time in my life, i am thankful that it has arrived as spring enters the calendar. The season of new beginnings. The season of hope. The season to come alive again. And though my hope is faded. There is a sense of inspiration that things will change, become better, will somehow change to the positive direction i seek.
A simple sprout in a planter helps me to remember, that after being buried under the soil, something beautiful can find it's way out and come alive again.
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