EXTRA!!! EXTRA!!! READ ALL ABOUT IT

... the TRUTH (and cancer) prevails ...

On August 9, 2009, the love of my life, Saisar SADDI Berrong, died in my arms after a brave battle with cancer. Because of our limited finances, we sought help from Dove Lewis. Despite a $10,000 a month donation fund for those struggling with vet cost, SADDI was denied treatment. The extremely heartless and cruel people of Dove Lewis wouldn't even look at SADDI, they wouldn't even get closer than 10 feet from her, they just told us to go elsewhere and not to come back to them because they couldn't do anything for her. After SADDI's death, i received several uncaring e-mails from Dove Lewis CEO, Ron Morgan, wanting to know what happen when we came in with SADDI. He showed no compassion to the fact that SADDI has just died, he only cared about how Dove Lewis would be seen for their pathetic lack of treatment.

Today, i live with the daily guilt of being unable to take care of my beautiful baby girl. She was so damn brave and even in her last moment of life, she reached her paw up and rested it on my hand to give me comfort. For 13 1/2 glorious years together, she always took care of me and i failed her when she needed me.

i have learned that i have a cancerous tumor under my left nipple. i DO NOT want any sympathy nor do i need any advice, since i was unable to give SADDI the needed medical care she needed and deserved, i will not seek any for myself. i've known for a couple of weeks about my condition, but could not say anything, even to Devon, as this was his time to shine and i was not about to distract from that. i also did not want him worrying about me when all his focus needed to be on DEVONATION. The ONLY reason for saying anything now is so we can move forward and hopefully the positive energy can be directed to Devon.


Devon has such a brilliant career ahead of him, with his art and fashion designs. Words truly cannot express how truly proud of him i am. Devon still struggles with past negatives within his life, so it can be difficult for him to believe all the praise he is receiving. Sadly, if one person has a negative comment but one hundred people say something positive, he clings to the negative because that is basically what he has heard much of his life. Before i go, i want to assure Devon that the truths he hears are the positives and the negatives are just coming from thoughtless unworthy jealous people. i want Devon to embrace the huge reaction he received from the final runway walk that he was almost denied. i get emotional just thinking about it. Devon has truly been a blessing to my heart and life. After so-called friends selfishly left our life and especially after SADDI was taken from us.


As for me, i guess i need to get busy since i have a time limit now. It is my great honor to share the beautiful love story of SADDI and me. This is what i have to share, what i have to leave for the world.

... 5am ...

As i lay me down to sleep, or at least as i attempt to sleep. Lately i am lucky if i am able to get a full three hours of sleep. But as i laid on the sofa, under the open window, the early morning chill in the air, along with the sweet smell of yesterdays freshly mowed lawn, my eyes closed but without hope of sleep. Like every other day lately, i try, i truly try to fall back to sleep. This morning, as i relax my thoughts, my eyes under the blanket of my eye lids, i suddenly see your face laying next to me. Like so many times, we are nose to nose. i refuse to open my eyes, because i know the reality. So i just lay there, wishing i could reach out and wrap my arm around you, or feel your paws pressed against my chest. Wishing i could hear you snoring as we share a pillow. Everything seems so real, even in this awakened dream. But nothing will ever be real again.