As i watch a wonderful PBS show about dying (Being Mortal), it just reminds me again of the death sentence i received with my congestive heart failure.
Yesterday, Devon and i went to a neighborhood carnival under a very hot June sun. It was a lot of fun, diverse and shared with many people. We decided to go eat at a Japanese style hamburger restaurant, about a mile away.
With my cast still on my right leg, after nearly 3 years, i get tired easily and walking in the hot sun seems to drain my already limited energy. (When we reached the restaurant, it was completely worth the effort, though i almost didn't make it there, but i didn't want to let Devon down).
As my energy level fades, i realize my own time upon this earth is slipping away and i don't mind. There might be things i will miss, but i am confident i will be with my SADDI again, so nothing else will matter.
i recently stopped using my personal Facebook account and created a page (SAISAR unlimited) just for positive messages with my photography. i didn't have many people on my Facebook 'friends' list as it was, but i invited all to the new page and barely anyone accepted. So it made me realize, when i am gone, i wont be missed (even Devon didn't come over to the new page).
i don't know what happen in my life where being a loyal friend and honesty swayed people away from me, but ... ... ...
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