S A D D I
SADDI hated having the bed made. When Devon would take her out for a morning walk, i would go in and make the bed. After she came back home, got a drink, she would head to the bedroom and stand on the bed for a moment and then just start totally unmaking it. i'd stand at the bedroom door watching her, she'd stop, look at me, and kept working to mess up the bed. Then i would grab the blanket and throw it over her, watching her fight to get out from under it. When she found her way out, she'd being smiling.
i miss that beautiful miss so much.
Silly Silly Squirrel Friend
Sitting outside,
in the freezing cold,
unable to feel my fingers,
trying to show my squirrel friend
that there are nuts in the planter
S A D D I
These cold lonely nights always remind me of the simple, but special life, i shared with SADDI. i truly miss making her dinner, but she would always sit next to me while i ate so i could share. When i was done, she'd finally go eat her own dinner. Our morning walks before i went to work and our couple of evening walks after i came home, which were always longer. Sitting on the sofa, watching TV, with SADDI's head rested on my leg. The barking i received when i returned home. The groans SADDI let out when i tried to get her out of bed in the morning. Having to take a shower with her because she hated baths so much. She cry and try to get out as i scrubbed her down. Then, while still in the tub, drying her off, waiting for her to shake off the extra water ... but every time she'd wait until she got out of the bath tub and jumped on the bed to shake.
An hour never passes without thinking of SADDI ... sometimes i smile, sometimes i cry ... sometimes both at the same time.
Former friends have said i could easily get another 'dog', but SADDI wasn't a dog ... to me, for me, SADDI was so much more. And always will be. Honestly, i don't care if people understand, they weren't there during the most difficult times in my life ... SADDI was. And with her, even though i felt lost, confused, alone ... i was loved. And loved so much. And i love ... i love SADDI so much. Words or tears could never express how much i miss her.
And truly look forward to being reunited soon.
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My goals for 2017 are simple ones, but my main agenda is to learn how to walk again. Though the wound is not 100% healed, it is enough that i can wear my prosthetic occasionally. Learning how to pee standing up again. By spring, i hope to be stable enough to be able to dust off my camera and capture the beauty of life. Finding a job so i can feel useful in life and my marriage again. If i had a word for 2017, it would be 'THRIVE'. Since July 2015, i have basically been without the life i desire, i have a lot of time to make up.
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