EXTRA!!! EXTRA!!! READ ALL ABOUT IT

Happy Birthday SADDI



... A memory from 2009, our last birthday shared together ...
 
how strong our bond is, because they do not know what we have gone through to get where we are today in celebrating your 13th birthday. 

How could I have known, that on this day, 13 years ago, you were born and would soon enter my life and heart? Though it wasn't until May 10, 1996 that we found each other, everyday since you have reminded me how much I am needed and love. If only by you, for me that is all that matters. When my family decided to leave me, you were there as the only family I needed. When that ugly cruel person use to beat me, though you were scared and would hide from his rage, when it was over, you comforted me as my wounds and tears slowly faded. And on that New Year's eve, when I had reached the lowest point of my life, knife in hand and tears flooding my eyes, you walked out and licked my face and hand, reminding me of my reason to live. My reason for living, laughing and loving have all been taught to me by you. 

We've shared so many memories, all of which enhanced when I saw the joy in your eyes. Trips to the beach so you could play in the sand, so long as I didn't try to take you out into the water. Driving through the country side and seeing all the horses that looked up as you barked to say hello. Walking through the city and people ignoring me as they stopped to talk with you, commenting how beautiful you are. And those millions of quiet times, when it was just the two of us. Either staying home in each others company, cuddling in bed, even though you are much smaller, you seemed to need more room or was it just to be as close as you possibly could to me, sitting along the waterfront with you leaning against me or chasing you in the tennis court, which soon turned into you chasing me. When you smile, as you do often, I cannot help but smile too. For the look of happiness in your face always finds its way into my heart. 

You are stubborn and demanding, but it shouldn't be any other way. You are selfish when it comes to receiving attention, but it shouldn't be any other way. You speak out, loudly, when you have something that needs to be heard, but it shouldn't be any other way. But most of all, you are the most loyal and loving with those that you trust and know would never harm your Rici. Though the love you have is shared with just about everyone, there is that special love that you have for only your Rici. Never allowing me out of your sights. Always reminding me when it is time for bed or if you just want to cuddle. And always ensuring that whenever possible, you need to go with me and if not possible, you make sure I know how much it bothers you. 

Many people know you, feeling your soft thick coat of black hair. When they see you they either play with your adorable ears or your curled tail. And most don't mind when you push up against them, your weight so strong they almost fall. Or that after you have received your attention from them, your hair clings to whatever they are wearing. These people don't mind, because what they feel from you is your love that you have so much of to share. And those who only know you through pictures or shared thoughts by me, they also feel your love. Even people who claim not to like 'dogs', seem to feel something different from you that allows them to be kind to you. 

All of my life, I have only wanted to be love and respected, not knowing the harsh feeling of people leaving or hurting me. I've tried to be kind, giving and supportive, but too often it has been turned against me. But I have come to proudly accept that I am the happiest in being known as Saddi's human. So long as everyone knows about how amazing you are, they know the greatest part of me. For without Saisar Saddi Berrong, there never will be me. 

To say I love you could never express what I truly feel. And to say thank you for all you have shared and given me, well, words have yet to be invented that could fully express that. What I can say, with complete confidence, is that you have enhanced the beauty and truth within my life and heart. And though today is your birthday Saddi, please know that everyday is a celebration for me because of you. 

your Rici 

Respect Your Time Alone


S A D D I

i never knew how, but SADDI seemed to be able to tell time. She knew the time Devon was due back from volunteering at the gallery. SADDI would sit by the glass door, where she would be able to see him walking down the driveway and into our courtyard. She would sit there, fidgeting and an occasional sigh, but mostly just patiently waiting. If for some reason Devon was late, SADDI knew it. She started to whine and pace the room, but still focused on looking out there door. Nothing i did could comfort her, she actually felt annoyed if i even tried. Finally she would see Devon, her tail began a wild wag, that big beautiful smile appeared as she looked at me, as if to tell me he was coming back. When Devon entered the courtyard, SADDI would bark as her greeting. But of course, Devon had to tease her and would go to the other door. SADDI fell for it every time. Slightly confused, looking out the window and then she could hear the other door opening. She would rush across the floor to find him already inside waiting to be welcomed.

J U M P


S A D D I

SADDI tried to be so tough.
Like when she would chase Devon around the yard.  Or she would stand on my chest, looking down at me, as i tried to do sit ups.  Or she would get under me, as i tried to do push ups, and lift her body against mine.  Sometimes, i would let her think she was in control and would stand in a corner as she barked at me if i tried to move.  i would pretend i was so scared.  After a few moments, i would growl at her and then chase her into the bedroom where she would jump onto the bed.  She was in attack position, but i always won because i could toss the blanket over her and watch her struggle to get free.  Yes, she was very much a silly girl.

T E A C H E R


Celebrate Life


My Pledge

i took a 30 day hiatus from the all too often negative cyber world to detox.  To cleanse my mind and soul of people who don't matter to my everyday life and childish hate directed at me because i'm not part of the 'us VS them' agenda.  Certainly, i wasn't happy about who i was becoming attempting to have a conversation with people who only use insults and lies trying to make their point.  Far too much time wasted.  i was also struggling with losing my very special squirrel friend.  i really don't have any friends and this lil squirrel, who i felt a connection to because of her disability and the way the other squirrels were so cruel to her, was often the only one i talked to during the day.  She trusted me.  And while the other squirrels run away when i opened the sliding door, she would always coming running to me.  When it was raining, she would wait under the shed, but when she saw me, she'd come running and sit just inside the house eating the treats i saved just for her.  Since she has been gone, i sit looking out the window at the shed, hoping she might come back.  The emptiness is overwhelming.  But i have felt this emptiness for over 8 years now, since SADDI was taken from me.  Someone else who made me feel as though i had a purpose in life.  Someone who needed me, but i actually needed even more.  i miss that feeling within my life. Within me.  i have known for sometime, my impact on life wont truly be felt until after i am gone (though i'm beginning to question that after this 30 day absence) ... and i am fine with that.  My mission will continue posting positive messages to inspire on the SAISARunlimited page, even though my audience is small.  It's not always easy to remain positive in today's world of toxic energy and people, the last thing i want to do is add to it.  Life is a celebration ... in honoring the memory of SADDI ... i need to be part of the inspiration.  What i feel inside myself, the emotions and thoughts i struggle with daily, will stay within me.  i've learned everything i see, think or feel doesn't need to be shared.   What matters to me is knowing, within myself, that am i part of the solution ... not part of the problem.   i am returning to devoting the remaining time of my life to being a messenger of a positive light ... hoping that light will stay on and thrive after i am gone.   2018 ... The Year of Kindness