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Late Night Thoughts

Knowing now how Devon, his friends and his family feel about me and the fact that i no longer have any friends or family, i can't help but keep thinking what a waste i am here on this earth.
 
As i lay on the sofa trying to sleep, all i can thin about is laying a blanket on the floor, slitting my wrist and just leaving this world.
 
i don't want to hurt anymore.  i don't want to cry anymore.
 
But after not helping SADDI when she had cancer, i know this suffering is meant for me.   i didn't find a job to be able to pay for her surgery  She didn't deserve to suffer.
 
i do. 

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